Just a little about my life in the recent times.
Well, let's just say that it's a large mixture of two completely opposite emotions, accompanied by all of their underlying emotions. Love and hate. For a while, I was going on a straight streak of wonderful happenings. For example, I received a letter from The America Library of Poetry about publishing one of my poems in their newest poetry collection edition called Acclaimed. Then I was hired at a local Dairy Queen that is luckily just down the street from my house. And for some reason I had this feeling I was in for a jackpot of money, and sure enough, a few days later I found seven dollars on the ground. Yeah, yeah. Seven dollars isn't much but it was still money!
Then my parents were granted legal 10 days a month visitation with my sister, so I've been seeing her regularly instead of once every three months.
On the underside, there is the awful fact that the aggravation and frustration levels have grown to a height I can no longer reach, therefore having me drown in them. I've already become severely depressed again and I'm trying to watch myself closely so I don't end up hurting myself. My friends have been warned so they can also help me out, but I know the situation could always turn out like before, where I hide everything. The thoughts of suicide and harming myself aren't as hovering and hindering as before, so I'm thankful to mother nature for giving me the strength to keep myself standing.
My parents still don't understand. All they're doing is pushing me closer and closer towards the dreadful drop from the bridge I'm standing on.
I'd like to thank a few people in my life for keeping by my side through times such as these.
Courtney - You have been there since the first day of second grade, and even though there were moments where we grew apart to grow up and have the sense to know where we stand, I have always loved you. I will always lend you my shoulder and ear when you need them. You're a great laugh around the clock and are serious when difficult matters are at hand. You are such a wonderful person, to myself and many others around you. You are a great part of my life and I would never try to break the beautiful bond we share.
Karly and Joseph - I can't stress enough how much you two mean to me. The summer we went to nationals together was the hardest summer I have ever had, but you two were right there to be my crutches. Karly, we have shared our tears and our experiences, and I am beyond thankful that our relationship has continued to build over the past few years. Though I've not known you as long as I've known Courtney, I consider you to be just as important and my spectacular companion in life (and that beautiful thing we do in forensics). Honestly, your friendship means the world to me. I love you so much.
Tyler - You're probably the most important person in regards to the health of my mental state, and you never fail to turn things around, even if it's just in the slightest ways. I can't believe how long it has been since the day we met, but just as I've said before, I'm entirely indebted to the reasons why this is so. When things got hard, I knew I could count on you and I knew that in someway, you would understand or could relate. Stop pretending you're not a beautiful person, because I know for a fact that you wouldn't have stood by me that terrible summer if you hadn't of had the heart for it. These times are tough but in due time we will all receive some happiness to carry us on to the future.
As for all of you beautiful people out there in the world, maybe you just need to take some time to thank the people who stand by you always. You don't even have to give them your letter or email, or whatever means of communication you choose to use, just think about it. It always seems to make me feel better. I'm all about giving you ideas to make YOU feel better, as well.
Keep holding on.
In due time, happiness will be presented.
-Kylie
