This is it

I wrote a poem, and thought it might bring some spirits up if I shared it. It's about life. And how you should be who you are, and embrace the you you are because you've made yourself, and kept yourself running, after each and every obstacle put in your path.

I think life is a lot less than we make it out to be, but at the same time, way more than anyone could ever imagine. We leave so much for granted and act like we have the worst lives in the books. Well, no one says you don't. But try and live it as is, because it's what you have, and there's nothing else to do but die. And that's not an option until it's beautiful, like memento mori <3

Beautiful Life

The weakness is unavoidable
but you're afraid to embrace
the inevitable.
If scars could sow themselves up
to blend with skin
before the damage was done
Would you choose to let it mend
Or reveal yourself as you are now?
and should be
No regrets left on the path
leading from the heels of your feet
To the beginning
where you once began.
What if starting over
was just a button
on the tips of your fingers?
Would you push it
Or follow the footsteps
you created
when you first learned to run?
Free as a dragonfly
Small as a rollie pollie
But still able to survive
against the world as we know it.
If they're making you choose
Refuse
to let them take away the rights
of owning every emotion
by humankind.
When life gives you love
you accept the hate that follows
With the tears and the laughs
and the everything that is.
Life is not a game
and we are not the players
Life is an open book
With the beginning
Middle
And end not set and stone
But cut between choices
Chosen by us as ourselves
and followed with the consequences
Like each written page should be.
So we are the characters we create ourselves
In the story book that we continue to write, as well
And with each blink of your eyes
a few more words are added
to the intersection you've come so far to get to.
Several more chapters
with more than enough years
to sell to Bella Morte herself
For a bella vita accomplished

For those who aren't familiar with the Italian language:
bella morte - beautiful death
bella vita - beautiful life

And I'm out.
Stay beautiful, and lead a beautiful life.
-Kylie

Maybe there's more to the years...

Four more days until Christmas, and yet each hour that we get closer to it, the less it even feels like winter itself. Kansas is rather warm for the winters, and makes me wonder if the hoax of global warming is really a hoax at all.

For some of you, the year has blown after pretty fairly. And for others, well, let's just say it hasn't been the best year yet. For me, it's been the worst of the 15, almost 16, years of life. Over 6 months ago, my mother beat the life out of me, and left me panicking on my bed, hyperventilating and scared out of my whits. There were bruises on my face, neck and collarbone. Hair fallen on the floor from my scalp, and bruises unseen on my head. Slash marks on my arms and a bite on my wrist/hand. I still have the scar from the bite. A constant reminder that my family is nutcase insane, but I'm living, because there's nothing else I can do to get OUT. I'm not one to believe in heaven or hell, but I'm not ready to leave this world quite yet for whatever comes afterwards.

A few weeks ago, my dog of 8 years was stolen. She was like my first best friend. And it hurts knowing that this Christmas, she won't be there to open her presents.

And the last big event of late happened today. I come home to a mailbox full of cards written to myself and siblings from the grandparents my mother has shunned. We have not seen them in 4-5 years. After opening the card, I grabbed the phone and phone book, and called my grandmother. We sat on the phone, myself, and two of my sisters, with her and cried, and exclaimed how much we missed each other. We made her day, but it has made my year.

Grandmothers and grandparents are one of a kind, don't ever let them go. If they love and care for you, why bother letting the relationship stray away? Family is one of a kind...and sometimes it can be tempting to let those relationships stray away, but all you need is a little more heart and forgiveness to let it all go. And when it's not enough, because sometimes the forgiven don't deserve the forgiveness, don't let it bring you down. Move on, carry on, and stick to the one's who are there. Sometimes your family isn't really a family at all, but a pack of friends. If it's all you've got, it's what you need, then hold onto it.

Surrounding me are the people I love, and the people I distrust. There will always be all types of people around you, and you can't let it get in the way. Obstacles are meant to be overcome through the years. Maybe that's what the years are for, to see how much you CAN, in fact, overcome. It's all a test. And aging only shows how much and long you've survived. It's not a race, but if you can last, you're a survivor <3

~Kylie