The world is growing darker as each day passes by, and it's tearing me apart. Your saddness is making me grow cold with saddness, as well. All of my friends...they're falling off the edge, and dragging me down with them. A lot of them want to die. A lot of them won't even tell me what the hell is wrong. They're blocking me out, and I don't know what to do because I'm trying *everything*. Suicide...is not the way to handle anything. I've been in these places. I just got done sitting in the bathroom with a razor in my hand, contemplating slicing away what's left. But I placed it back down. Because I'm not falling again. I refuse to go back to the darkest days of my life, and I refuse to let all of you get there, too.
When someone tells you they're there for you, let them be. If you need space, okay. But you need to let that person, or those people in, at some point. Because all they want to do is help and they love you. Don't hide it all under a facade, I had to find out from other people I don't even know that she was going to kill herself, and in fact had already attempted. I've been going around asking everyone else what's wrong with him because he won't open up. Don't let it come to this; don't leave your friends wondering, let them know you're okay, or you're not okay. If time is what you need, we'll give it...but time honestly doesn't run on forever. We love you guys. I love you guys.
I'm so scared to do anything...I've caused myself sickness, I keep crying because I hate to see the world in such a depression. Friends, lovers and fighters, be there for everyone out there. Be there for one another. Don't be afraid to take that one person's hand and let them know...how much you love them.
I love you Courtney.
I love you Tyler.
I love you all.
Keep the beauty.
-Kylie
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Calling all unity for peace and love!
Hello all of you beautiful souls! It's been a terribly long time since I've written to all of you, it kinda makes me sad. But, here I am, ready to give more information :)
I hope you all know that last month (October) was special for several reasons. Honoring those suicide victims who were tired of living in a hell where everyone was against gays; fighting against breast cancer, preventing domestic and all other types of violence, and there was even National Coming Out Day, on October 11th. Everyone should know that we're all equal. Equality is literally the key to everything. We should all be equally loved as humans, and we should all be equally punished for our wrongs. No one should be excluded from the world for race, sexual preference, shape and size, or background. Is it so hard to have one simple unified thought? All we need...is love. And equality brings that. If you can set aside the differences, what is there to keep you apart? It all comes down to your beauty, your souls, and the hands that reach out towards each other for comfort and friendship. Be the person the world wishes you to be, a broad enough statement that is broken down into one simple meaning: Be loving. Caring. Peaceful. And you become the rest as you wish to be, afterall, that's what makes you YOU.
It seems the world is in a sort of depression right now. Conrtoversial issues, lack of money and job opportunites, and a lack of caring. Create a way to make something a little better, a lot less in the hole than it already is. Get the community to chip in one dollar per person to save towards something tremendous, or to help towards those in dire need of the help. Make a club at your school on peace and equality, speak out and tell others how you feel, you'd be surprised on how many other individuals feel the same way, but are just like you and don't know how to, or want to, speak it out, in fear of losing what they have. There will always be that number of people who are against you...and let it be. Because the right idea comes with bringing all the same great thoughts together as one to create what will block out the wrong. You can do it. You all can. Because what's beautiful can <3
--Kylie
I hope you all know that last month (October) was special for several reasons. Honoring those suicide victims who were tired of living in a hell where everyone was against gays; fighting against breast cancer, preventing domestic and all other types of violence, and there was even National Coming Out Day, on October 11th. Everyone should know that we're all equal. Equality is literally the key to everything. We should all be equally loved as humans, and we should all be equally punished for our wrongs. No one should be excluded from the world for race, sexual preference, shape and size, or background. Is it so hard to have one simple unified thought? All we need...is love. And equality brings that. If you can set aside the differences, what is there to keep you apart? It all comes down to your beauty, your souls, and the hands that reach out towards each other for comfort and friendship. Be the person the world wishes you to be, a broad enough statement that is broken down into one simple meaning: Be loving. Caring. Peaceful. And you become the rest as you wish to be, afterall, that's what makes you YOU.
It seems the world is in a sort of depression right now. Conrtoversial issues, lack of money and job opportunites, and a lack of caring. Create a way to make something a little better, a lot less in the hole than it already is. Get the community to chip in one dollar per person to save towards something tremendous, or to help towards those in dire need of the help. Make a club at your school on peace and equality, speak out and tell others how you feel, you'd be surprised on how many other individuals feel the same way, but are just like you and don't know how to, or want to, speak it out, in fear of losing what they have. There will always be that number of people who are against you...and let it be. Because the right idea comes with bringing all the same great thoughts together as one to create what will block out the wrong. You can do it. You all can. Because what's beautiful can <3
--Kylie
Monday, September 27, 2010
Love is all you need, and love is what you'll always have
Dear friends, teenagers, adults and friends of this world...Life can be so tough and horrendous, and sometimes crawling under that rock just isn't enough, you want to take the last few steps to fall from the cliff, but life...can also be so rewarding and beautiful. Take this and keep it on your mind always, because the terrible and the wonderful go hand in hand, which means there is no one without the other. Life IS a roller coaster, darlings. And sometimes the loops feel never ending, but they all end somewhere. It's inevitable.
Recently, my close friend hung himself. Luckily his step father found him in time, but with the lack of oxygen for 6 minutes, he went into a coma. I haven't heard anything since then, and I'm hoping with all of my heart that he'll make it out okay. He should know that because I care, because all of his friends care, it means we love him. And he doesn't need to leave us if he's got all he needs. Happiness comes with coping with all of it, and I know anyone can do it as long as they try their hardest. I have been through SO much, I know exactly how life can seem, and to be honest, I hate it most of the time myself. I've wanted to die, I've TRIED to kill myself and it's gotten me no where, and now I see how much those people in my life care and love me. That doesn't mean that I don't still wish to die sometimes...because I do. It's not wrong to think like this. As long as you stop and think about it, and don't act on it, everything will go by alright, because you can get through anything. I want to share so much with all of you...everything I've been through. So you know how much we have in common, how other people go through similar terrible shit. Wish it, try it, ACCOMPLISH it. I have faith, and so do others.
Someone out there loves you. Several out there love you. No matter what they tell you, no matter what you tell yourself. I care. I know I'm a random girl you all don't know...so how can I care? I care because I know what it's like and I know how it feels and I know...that everyone needs someone, and everyone is so beautiful, I don't understand this wonder yet it is so tremendous. I love you all, I truly do. So do one thing for me...and live, because it's all under this one sky, in this one world, in this one life.
Stay beautiful. <3
-Kylie
Recently, my close friend hung himself. Luckily his step father found him in time, but with the lack of oxygen for 6 minutes, he went into a coma. I haven't heard anything since then, and I'm hoping with all of my heart that he'll make it out okay. He should know that because I care, because all of his friends care, it means we love him. And he doesn't need to leave us if he's got all he needs. Happiness comes with coping with all of it, and I know anyone can do it as long as they try their hardest. I have been through SO much, I know exactly how life can seem, and to be honest, I hate it most of the time myself. I've wanted to die, I've TRIED to kill myself and it's gotten me no where, and now I see how much those people in my life care and love me. That doesn't mean that I don't still wish to die sometimes...because I do. It's not wrong to think like this. As long as you stop and think about it, and don't act on it, everything will go by alright, because you can get through anything. I want to share so much with all of you...everything I've been through. So you know how much we have in common, how other people go through similar terrible shit. Wish it, try it, ACCOMPLISH it. I have faith, and so do others.
Someone out there loves you. Several out there love you. No matter what they tell you, no matter what you tell yourself. I care. I know I'm a random girl you all don't know...so how can I care? I care because I know what it's like and I know how it feels and I know...that everyone needs someone, and everyone is so beautiful, I don't understand this wonder yet it is so tremendous. I love you all, I truly do. So do one thing for me...and live, because it's all under this one sky, in this one world, in this one life.
Stay beautiful. <3
-Kylie
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Refresh!
Well, people of the internet...it's been a long and hard first half of the year. For a lot of people out there, not just Erika and I. I would like to bring up a fact that Erika mentioned in one of her earlier posts: We're not just some babbling-think-we-know-it-alls. We've been in similar, if not exact, situations as all of you have. Her and I together have pretty much been through everything, you name it. We've got the experiences, we're giving the advice from the heart and the mind, because maybe you need to hear it from someone just like yourselves.
I think what I would like to talk about in this post is the reinventions of a person. We've all made changes, about ourselves, and with certain things we do, but this is different. I don't technically mean changing yourself as YOU, but changing what's around you, the *people* in your life that only cause you more harm and extreme, unecessary stress, rather than good, for the better of you moving on in life. No, I have not tried it. I'm going to begin starting now. It's an idea that popped into my head while overthinking my stressful past events, and agonizing the one's to come. Is it possible to renew a person? Can someone flush all of the bad influences away, and replace them with people much better? The answer, I believe, is yes. Starting with the simpler people is the beginning, and yes, it's going to be hard. But you have to think about yourself for once, and if not for once, again, because at the end of the day, what matters is You. Now is the time to take the steps towards caring more for yourself, which means getting rid of the one's that are keeping you locked in the same position. Tell those people how you feel, that you think it would be better for yourself if they just stayed away. You can let them know you love them, if you do, but that your heart and your head can't take any more stress without faltering. And if they understand, maybe they'll listen. But if they don't, perhaps it's time to take it up a notch. No Contact Orders, which, let me tell you, are way easier than restraining orders (I would know, I have one. :\) But this is only if necessary, I wouldn't want any of you having to go through such situations, as I know they may already be far worse.
Like me, I'm gonna start with the simpler ones, that ones I can remove now. But, unlike a lot of the people, there are one's I must wait for time to erase. Like my mother. I'm still living at home, and yet she's the biggest bad influence in my life, and I'll have to wait years before I can move out, and click my refresh button.
Just hold on to hope, all of you. Because with time, things might just get better. And you are capable of clicking that refresh button, it's always there as an option.
And remember...You're always beautiful <3
--Kylie
I think what I would like to talk about in this post is the reinventions of a person. We've all made changes, about ourselves, and with certain things we do, but this is different. I don't technically mean changing yourself as YOU, but changing what's around you, the *people* in your life that only cause you more harm and extreme, unecessary stress, rather than good, for the better of you moving on in life. No, I have not tried it. I'm going to begin starting now. It's an idea that popped into my head while overthinking my stressful past events, and agonizing the one's to come. Is it possible to renew a person? Can someone flush all of the bad influences away, and replace them with people much better? The answer, I believe, is yes. Starting with the simpler people is the beginning, and yes, it's going to be hard. But you have to think about yourself for once, and if not for once, again, because at the end of the day, what matters is You. Now is the time to take the steps towards caring more for yourself, which means getting rid of the one's that are keeping you locked in the same position. Tell those people how you feel, that you think it would be better for yourself if they just stayed away. You can let them know you love them, if you do, but that your heart and your head can't take any more stress without faltering. And if they understand, maybe they'll listen. But if they don't, perhaps it's time to take it up a notch. No Contact Orders, which, let me tell you, are way easier than restraining orders (I would know, I have one. :\) But this is only if necessary, I wouldn't want any of you having to go through such situations, as I know they may already be far worse.
Like me, I'm gonna start with the simpler ones, that ones I can remove now. But, unlike a lot of the people, there are one's I must wait for time to erase. Like my mother. I'm still living at home, and yet she's the biggest bad influence in my life, and I'll have to wait years before I can move out, and click my refresh button.
Just hold on to hope, all of you. Because with time, things might just get better. And you are capable of clicking that refresh button, it's always there as an option.
And remember...You're always beautiful <3
--Kylie
Sunday, August 1, 2010
First August Post
Normally I wouldn't be on here with 2 posts so soon, but I don't see why I shouldn't plus I have good reason to. One of which being that I want to have the first post of August before Kylie stealz it. But there are a couple other reasons too.
First and foremost: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nReOeW1UckI
This above is a video from one of my favorite youtubers. Some of you may have already heard of Shane Dawson and his reputation for being a maker of hilarious videos, but recently he's making more meaningful videos, still with some humor, but the underlying meaning is clear. Two of his newest videos are about highschool drama, the first of which is about growing up fatherless and Shane wanting to be the dad he never had. The second one is the link I posted above. It's about eating disorders and being comfortable in your own body.
The second thing I want to talk about is sixbillionsecrets.com and givesmehope.com. The first one isn't necessarily a happy site, but it allows you to post your secrets anonymously. The secrets posted range from overly depressing to innocent, but the community is very supportive. Once when someone said they were going to kill themselves, tons of posts showed up begging them to live. The second site is a much happier site, with posts about the small things that give people hope. This all leads into my third topic.
Last night while on sixbillionsecrets, I was voting on upcoming secrets when I came across one from a girl named Katie. She had started cutting when she was 12 and was now 14. She said she couldn't stop and begged for help, leaving her email address. The first thing I did was email her, and I hope I made her day. She did reply, thanking me, but really I should be the one thanking her. Helping her, even with just a single email, knowing I may have made her feel good for a while, has made me feel better about myself than I've felt in a long time.
So I'll leave you all on this note: When you get the chance to help someone, take it, because that might have been/may be you. And Katie, if you ever read this, thank you.
You're all great and beautiful and just amazing.
<3Erika<3
First and foremost: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nReOeW1UckI
This above is a video from one of my favorite youtubers. Some of you may have already heard of Shane Dawson and his reputation for being a maker of hilarious videos, but recently he's making more meaningful videos, still with some humor, but the underlying meaning is clear. Two of his newest videos are about highschool drama, the first of which is about growing up fatherless and Shane wanting to be the dad he never had. The second one is the link I posted above. It's about eating disorders and being comfortable in your own body.
The second thing I want to talk about is sixbillionsecrets.com and givesmehope.com. The first one isn't necessarily a happy site, but it allows you to post your secrets anonymously. The secrets posted range from overly depressing to innocent, but the community is very supportive. Once when someone said they were going to kill themselves, tons of posts showed up begging them to live. The second site is a much happier site, with posts about the small things that give people hope. This all leads into my third topic.
Last night while on sixbillionsecrets, I was voting on upcoming secrets when I came across one from a girl named Katie. She had started cutting when she was 12 and was now 14. She said she couldn't stop and begged for help, leaving her email address. The first thing I did was email her, and I hope I made her day. She did reply, thanking me, but really I should be the one thanking her. Helping her, even with just a single email, knowing I may have made her feel good for a while, has made me feel better about myself than I've felt in a long time.
So I'll leave you all on this note: When you get the chance to help someone, take it, because that might have been/may be you. And Katie, if you ever read this, thank you.
You're all great and beautiful and just amazing.
<3Erika<3
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