If you should dare smile...about the simplest aspects in our lives, would anything change? The answer is yes. Because everything can be compared to systems biology and the wonderful emergent properties that cause everything to work in the way they do, you are able to change the smallest thing about you and make everything change in a large way. Having the ability to see the smaller, beautiful things in life in a new perspective might make happiness come easier--you're enthusiastic about everything rather than just the whole. This is a method I adopted quite a while ago, and ever since then I see almost in undiscovered colors. And while at first it's strange to feel too excited about the rivets and ridges on your fingertips or the veins in a leaf, it's a great experience you can feel all around and forever.
I'm upset to say that life is still not looking up for myself but I'm hanging in with a tight grip. I am terrified of the fall that everyone is not totally assured won't occur, but this gives me even more reason to fight harder and keep this battle up until I am free. (Poem written to describe how I feel, which is officially my second poem getting published by request. Called Runaway)
Cracking, smacking, crushed beneath my feet
Found a letter in my pocket: the note of my defeat
I'm asking you not to speak about it—
Don't repeat the silence,
especially once I'm gone
because we all know my mind does that job well enough on its own.
I know I reek of unwashed jeans and sneakers—
The uncleanliness of slamming the front door,
breaking into a run once I skid away from the mirrored floor
Always looking back at me, never looking up at me
because we all know I'm the one below on this scale of indefinite chains.
Infinite escape into a place I once knew as euphoric,
lost to the world of promises in rhetoric
But we all know that place no longer holds a certainty
the fantasy
of delectation—delight
because it only made me think twice about my purposed placement,
something I no longer wanted to be a part of.
Childish, I kept telling myself;
Time to move on and let myself grieve
Wanted to get up and go—just leave
forget that it once made me feel okay inside,
find a warmer home I could then reside
And not worry about the watchful eye of the ones who take back,
keep back and restrain
because then there wouldn't be a reason to flee
And instead of a runaway, I could be free.
Recently I have attended two fantastic concerts, one weekend after another. First was the Rise Against and Foo Fighters Concert, which actually gave me an appreciation for America. See, Rise Against has been one of my favorite bands for some time because of their activist status, but I had no idea how much of an activist band the Foo Fighters were. They gave this amazing speech about how no matter who you are, what you are, who you want to be, you are an equal to every other human being in this nation we reside, because we accept people for being the most beautiful goddamn creatures on this planet. The other concert was yesterday, the Uproar Festival, which rocked my fucking voice out. The most famous bands present were Escape The Fate, Bullet For My Valentine, Seether, Three Days Grace and Avenged Sevenfold. Three Days Grace had the best performance, which is odd for me to say because I don't know much of their music. But anyway, the lead singer dedicated the song Never Too Late to all of the people in the crowd who don't know who they are yet or whether they want to live or die, because it's never too late to make it right. It was beautiful, and I almost cried. Music is such a great stress reliever and these two concerts couldn't have come in a more important time. I really needed the feeling of sound vibrations sifting through my body. I could feel it in my blood, and it was absolutely exotic. So this is my advice to you for this post: Listen to music! Your music taste is significant to your health, and don't let anyone tell you you're weird or stupid or whatever the hell they want to say because sound is music and music is sound, and everyone loves different types. Embrace your love for music, and if you're not into music...well, anything that soothes you will work. But honestly, I believe that music can ignite many different feelings and activities. It'll work for any occasion.
Well, last but certainly not least, I'd just like to mention that it is Autumn, my favorite season of all. :) I hope you all enjoy the beautiful colors that fall from the skies and get high off of that smell of the end nearing, all to start right back up again come Spring. Feel the leaves beneath your feet as you walk barefoot through the beautiful lands of our world, and stay beautiful yourselves.
I love you with all my heart can give.
-Kylie
